Writing Prompts

You Did What? For the Kids

/ J.R. Roper / Leave a comment

So, once in a while I have to come out with an f-bomb, albeit a quiet one. This one was for the good of all children within shouting distance. Confused?

Every year my wife and I sell apparel at a local festival. We deal with the occasional customer who complains about prices or doesn’t like our selection (thirty different prints for an annual festival is pretty freakin good). But never before have we experienced an unhappy couple playing the who-is-the-biggest-villain game right next to our booth. FOR THIRTY MINUTES!

And she was loud. Loud enough for anyone passing by to hear her occasional f-bomb or a-hole comment. I kept expecting them to grow brains, to get the hint that this was a family festival with thousands of kids walking around. The dirty looks from myself and the customers weren’t working, so finally I boiled over.

Deep breath, shoulders back, here I go.

“I realize you’re having an important conversation here.”

Girl rolls eyes.

“No, not at all,” Guy responds.

Knockout shot…no, the kids don’t need to see that.

“Well, we’re running a business here and—”

“—We’re not hurting business.” Girl rolls eyes again.

Stale alcohol breathe engulfs me. Hmm. “There are lots of kids around…”

Guy nods, not the complete a-hole she’s made him out to be.

“…and your fu*#ing is getting kind of loud.”

I walk away. Couple leaves quietly.

Now, make your own scene.

You Saw What? Writing Prompt 1

/ J.R. Roper / Leave a comment

My first night in Indianapolis couldn’t have gone better. The hotel was awesome, entire table of Italian food delicious, company hilarious. We even went to a Jillian’s (like chucky cheese for adults). Everything had been unique and ideal until we got back to the hotel.

Right now you’re wondering what was missing or maybe who moved in to the room next door. But the neighbors were certainly okay, being friends of mine, and everything was in the same place I’d left it. No, it wasn’t until I pulled back the sheets that terror gripped my heart.

My first thought was holy malarkey there’s a g-string on my bed (well…that’s kind of what I thought). I looked closer, even better, a wad of Kleenex. Used Kleenex.  And, yes, I called and had the bedding changed.

How did it get there? Why didn’t anyone check the bed before new guests checked in? Use my unforgettably absorbing experience for your own writing purposes.

You Did What? Writing Prompt 1

/ J.R. Roper / Leave a comment

So there are a few events one should never be late to; weddings (especially your own) and funerals (only my wife could pull that off).

After paying to park in the wrong parking lot five minutes before the start of the wedding, I graciously (#&*%#) accepted my wife’s plea to pull back onto the road and get closer to the church.  As we strode in, now three minutes late, a calm sigh left both our lips as the voices of other guests filled the foyer.

We even spotted my wife’s friends and immediately joined them, eager to walk in with other naughty late people. Following a brief greeting, I nudged my wife (which she loves) and motioned down the side aisle. After all, we didn’t want the bride to beat us into the church. My wife’s friends, however, were taking their sweet time.

Ready to execute let’s-get-going move two, a brief sleight of hand in the lower back region, my wife’s expression went from fake smiles to oh crap. Pulling back hand-that-would-have-been-chopped-off, I leaned in, expecting a forgotten gift or wrong undergarment disaster. Before I realized the happy situation, Wifey’s friend commented on how cute the flower girl was during the ceremony…

Please use my grand mistakes for your writing purposes.